the angel on the other side
by fleeting heartbeat
Summary: People don't die instantly, but they die a little bit every single day. [ Sunburst&Moonlight-verse ]
1. my dream has died

People dream of being heroes, but those kind of wishes don't always come true.

Heroes only exist in fairytales for little children, and day by day they fade away from your life.

* * *

Koh doesn't believe in a lot of things.

For instance, he doesn't believe in being extraordinary and all that 'saving the world' nonsense — they are silly adventures only told in cartoons and comic books to entice children into thinking that superheroes exist. Maybe—_maybe_—some good novels have those too, but the dystopian universe that is created in the process is a little unbelievable, and Koh stops reading those too after some time.

_Growing up,_ he thinks, _is a beautiful thing._

He starts to see the childishness of his childhood days and throws away reminders of it — he doesn't want to know how foolish he had been — yet after some time…

…he can't help but admit that growing up is a tragedy in a way too.

* * *

_Did you hear about what happened in the SunShine district?_

_The earthquake? Yeah, we felt it here in DarkMoon too._

* * *

Sayo doesn't know the meaning of friends.

There isn't anyone else her age in DarkMoon, as ridiculous as it sounds. She mostly hangs out with an older bunch of boys and girls from her street, but it doesn't feel right lots of times, not that she knows how it really feels to be around peers.

She acts as if she fits in right along with the bunch of idiots she's with every single day, but she feels lonely. It feels like before she met them, when she used to spend her time sitting near the waterfalls playing with the handheld devices Phascomon bought her.

_Nothing's wrong. Everything is just fine_.

But sometimes when she sees and runs up to them excitedly, she hears them laughing brilliantly, their eyes brighter than the stars that reside far away from the immediate black space around DarkMoon.

It is during those moments when she feels like a stranger to them, and sometimes she turns and walks the other way until Paunch or Barone or Dorothy turns around and sees her— "Oh, Sayo-chan! I didn't see you there just now."

Newton, Dorothy, Barone, Paunch, Gutts — they all treat her nicely, but she can't help but feel that they're more close-knit without her. They existed before she even joined in the fray.

* * *

When Koh is confronted with the mission to save CITY, he hesitates. This isn't the world, but it's saving people — friends (yet no family—his stomach churns at this thought) — all the same.

He has once told himself that if he has to ever make this choice, he'd turn it down. Though granted, in the first place, he's never actually believed that this will one day happen to him. But now that the situation has presented itself to him and he sees what is actually at stake, he falters.

Chief Glare watches him with so much hope in his eyes that he can't turn him down.

"Okay." He thinks this is all he's got to say, but then he thinks again, and adds in a light snarl, "But I'm not doing this because I want a reputation or something, you got it?"

The older man smirks, arms folded across his chest. "You've got personality, I'll give you that."

Koh tries not to scowl, but he thinks it's still there anyways, so he kind of gives up halfway and leaves the plaza.

It reminds him of all the reasons why he hates his chief.

* * *

_Hey, did you know that they got a little kid to deal with all that trouble that's been happening?_

* * *

After a while, Sayo stops hanging out with them. She spends a little more time bugging Sukikiyo and Kakumi about fighting and Grand Tournaments instead, but eventually she stays at home and tries training by the beach below her bedroom.

"Why do you work so hard?" Phascomon sighs one day, after seeing Sayo lying exhausted on the sand. "You push yourself too hard, young child. I've heard from Sukikiyo and Kakumi. Do you really believe that you'll make it to the Grand Tournaments one day?"

She doesn't listen. She never does. _Phascomon's naggy. Phascomon isn't nice._ Sometimes, she just really dislikes Phascomon (she refuses to hate anyone), just like how she really dislikes Dorothy and the others sometimes — not that she can blame them though, because she was the latecomer. She didn't belong. She messed up their dynamics.

_I hope they're happy,_ she thinks grimly, mind wandering back to a few days ago when she sees them playing cards by the waterfalls.

"Did you even hear what I say?"

She continues to ignore her NaviDigimon and yells for Moonmon to get up.

* * *

You can dream, but there's no guarantee it'll come true. It almost never does, and they die and fade away after time. Some people just gradually forget about it, while some people's lives have been greatly impacted.

Dreams die, and the people die a little bit on the inside, but it's so mild that almost no one notices it until the people die completely, and they look back at everything that has happened.

* * *

Koh feels sick when he hears the rumours going around. People are calling him a kid, and it hits him like a truck. After all, he's been thinking that he's "all grown up" now.

It doesn't help when Chief Glare calls him a young child too during the awards ceremony, following his success on the battlefield.

"Let us thank this young child for his efforts in saving CITY. He has done the community a great service and we are undoubtedly in his debt now. I believe I speak for all of us when I say that we are very grateful for what you've done, Koh."

Ofanimon smiles, his Digimon smile, the crowd smiles and cheers—

He smiles too, and he smiles so brightly that he thinks his cheekbones are going to break soon.


	2. sin and sacrifice

Sayo's instincts kick in immediately when trouble arises in CITY. She doesn't find it surprising when she's called to meet Chief Julia and ChaosGallantmon in the command centre.

"I suppose you know what this is about already," Chief Julia assumes, back facing her. Sayo frowns. "You should know what is expected of you."

"You're being vague," she replies curtly, ignoring the pointed looks Raigo and Zanbamon are giving her. "I want details. Now."

ChaosGallantmon laughs. "Silly girl. That's because you should know. After all, weren't you the one set on winning the Grand Tournament this year? But looked what happened in the end. If you still want a chance to prove your worth, do this right and maybe — _maybe_ you'll earn what you've always wanted."

* * *

The first person Koh goes to when he finds out about his mission is Kenpa. After all, Kenpa is quiet, Kenpa is caring, and Kenpa is always there for her friends with a listening ear.

Kenpa doesn't sound the least surprised when she finds out that he's going to investigate the strange happenings in CITY lately. Instead she sits down on the couch opposite him and picks up a cup of hot, steaming tea from the tray on the table.

"You're special."

It shocks him a little to hear her say that.

"Don't look so surprised, Koh," she admonishes lightly. "You've always been special. You just don't know it. Don't forget the Grand Tournament too. One day, you'll be someone great and we'll all look up to you."

_I doubt it,_ he thinks at first, and then he proceeds to change the subject, instead talking about schoolwork and friends and all that stuff, but the topic doesn't really leave his mind.

When he leaves her house, he contemplates about it, and he dwells on it the whole walk home.

* * *

_What d'you think's been causing all that trouble?_

_I don't know, but I heard there are kids out there investigating._

* * *

This is the second time Sayo has met Koh, and they clash.

She's heard rumours of 'the boy Chief Glare sent to help out', and she utterly _hates_ him. _What makes them think I can't handle this on my own? He's only going to get in my way._ It's only made worse when she finds out that it's him — that annoying brat who ripped away all her fame and glory during the tournament.

There's one heartening thing though, thankfully. He probably thinks the same way, and it makes her kind of glad to know that they both understand only one can remain.

But things doesn't go the way they both wish it would, and a few enemies come crashing into their battle territory. She looks at him warily, then at the intruders.

She doesn't quite trust Koh yet, but it's always better to have someone guarding your back.

* * *

They've come to some sort of consensus, Koh supposes that night as he leans against the tree trunk and looks up at the dark sky.

Sayo is sleeping on the other side of the campfire, back facing him. He doesn't think it's very safe, with Digimon lurking around in the dark — they could be attacked anytime. But he supposes, she must trust him enough to let him look out for her while she's asleep.

_Is she still angry about the Grand Tournament?_ He contemplates, mind floating back to her attitude throughout the whole day since they met. _She's a prideful one, no doubt about it._

About an hour later, she awakes and he drifts off into a quiet slumber, content on letting her watch out for him.

* * *

Sometimes sacrifices don't mean death, but sometimes people die a little when they sacrifice something. A little part of them just ebbs away, sticking to the memories of the past that it hurts so much in the present, but it's just because they don't ever want to forget.

When they come out of the whole mess, they're still smiling, they're still them — but they're not really them anymore, a little part of them is gone.

* * *

_They say that two children actually defeated that beast that's been trying to take control of CITY._

_Are you sure? I mean, what can two children possibly do?_

* * *

About two months after the incident, Sayo doesn't speak to Koh anymore. Communication isn't necessary between them, she thinks. After all, they were only allies because they were facing a common enemy.

Chief Julia doesn't make it necessary for her to be interacting with the Light Fang tamer either, other than insults hurled at it him during tournaments. She screams and hollers and shouts every single time, but she just doesn't understand why she isn't winning.

"You—you—_I hate you!_"

Maybe he doesn't really hate her, because that look on his face when she cries that doesn't tells her otherwise.

* * *

_The glaring lights beat down on the stage._

_"__This is it! The final match of the Normal category! Who will emerge victorious? It's the final showdown between our winners from Group A and Group B…"_

_The enthusiasm in the arena doesn't die down and only goes higher and higher, shrieks and cheers in the air. He watches his opponent carefully, but her head is bowed, Digimon lined up behind her._

_Then, slowly, she tilts her head up, meeting his gaze, a dangerous glint in her eyes. It sends shivers down his spine, but—_have some backbone!_—he tries to ignore it, because there are more important things to worry about right now._

This is it. The championships — the Grand Tournament — is right in front of me. I can do this. I can't get afraid now. I've worked so hard, trained so much—

_"__Let the battle begin!"_

_He hears the whistle blow and their Digimon dive forward to attack._

* * *

_Her last Digimon hits the ground and he watches her inhale sharply, eyes widened in shock._

_Her body is trembling with fury when she looks up and glares menacingly at him._


	3. the future is far away

Sayo doesn't think she's all grown up yet.

She thinks that she's still immature, still growing, still learning. There's so much more out there that she doesn't know about, so much more out there for her to find out. The world is just too big to know fully.

That's why she doesn't quite understand when Chief Julia calls her up to her office and entrusts her with such a huge task — she doesn't understand why it's her, not someone better. There are so many Tamers who would be better choices, so why her?

"Don't overthink it," is all Julia says, and she goes along with it, but she can't help but feel that this isn't her destiny.

* * *

Koh is a little boy growing up in a big city, but he doesn't think much of it. Instead he spends each and every day living life to the fullest (or so they call it). Komachi-nee comes over sometimes with her friends, and they look after him while Tailmon is out and laugh and sing and have fun.

Sometimes, Cheetah-nii will take him out to see volleyball games and he'll watch Tonpei-nii fight tooth and nail with Cheetah to get the opportunity to take Koh out to soccer games instead.

"Shut up, both of you," Pulsa-nii will come over and scold, looking quite displeased.

And meanwhile, Kenpa-nee and Komachi-nee will laugh in the background.

* * *

Sayo feel the weight of the world resting on her shoulders, her mind often wondering about what will happen if she doesn't win. Sometimes at night, under the moonless sky, she dreams of a monster standing tall in a sea of black flames that can only spell trouble.

_It must be destroyed,_ she tells herself when she wakes up in cold sweat. The images of blood splattered on the floor in some twisted kind of abstract art are still fresh in her mind, and she can't seem to shake off the sense of foreboding.

The disturbing thoughts go away at around three in the morning as she scouts the area for food.

However, when the sun rises and she smells smoke, the feeling returns and she looks over her shoulder at the hills in the faraway distance.

* * *

_Do you know who's the girl Chief asked to investigate?_

_A girl? Are you sure?_

* * *

"Cheetah-nii," Koh asks one day after watching one of Cheetah's volleyball practices. "Is volleyball fun?"

Cheetah grins widely at him and gives him a thumbs-up. "Sure it is! You wanna have a go at it?" Koh shakes his head — surely, not timidly — and Cheetah frowns. "Well, that's a shame. Ha, I bet Tonpei'd be happy to hear this. He'll probably try roping you into soccer next."

He waits in silence as Cheetah drinks up, chats a bit with his teammates — Koh talks a little too, but he doesn't really feel right with them — and then once Cheetah's ready they go off.

"Do you like fighting then?" Cheetah questions curiously. "Y'know, like Gaoh-san and Lyla-san."

Koh stops walking and thinks a while. Cheetah looks at him.

"Yeah. I guess I do."

* * *

Expectedly, Sayo emerges victorious against the beast that threatens the safety of the Digital World.

She's strong, she knows. If she tried hard enough, maybe she could rise up in the rankings fast. But she didn't, because fame and power wasn't like her.

(Or rather, she _wouldn't_ let it be like her.)

_Keep telling yourself that,_ she thinks to herself, because she knows—

The change is subtle, but it's there. Slowly, but surely, it _is_ becoming a part of her, and she doesn't know how to stop it.

* * *

The future never really is what you think it is. You can imagine everything under the sun, but when it comes down to reality, it's never the same.

People dream of vivid things, their hopes for the future, and they follow silly traditions like wishing upon a star, but nothing turns out as expected.

And maybe—_maybe_—when that future doesn't come true, people die a little, just inside.

* * *

Pulsa-nii tells Koh stories of a great, courageous young hero who saves CITY from impending doom that no one else could stop. She is an amazing girl — only a few years older than him — yet with a prowess that rivals even Gold Tamers, even though she herself has only recently attained the Bronze rank.

"So she must be really strong!" Koh looks up at the older boy in awe. "Do you know her, Pulsa-nii?"

Pulsa laughs and ruffles the shorter boy's hair. "Koh, please. She's from Night Claw. I don't know who she is. But I think…" Koh looks at him expectantly. "…if I'm not wrong, she's called Sayo.

"Kurosawa Sayo, I do believe."

* * *

_I think she's the champion of the last tournament._

_Well, that makes sense then._

* * *

Sayo used to believe.

But she doesn't anymore, now that she's all grown up (or at least, she thinks). Adulthood is scary when things become a thousand times more complicated than before and you're stuck alone drowning with no one holding on to you, supporting you.

Fighting used to be a hobby, a pastime, a measure of her strength; fighting is now nothing more than something stuck to her name (_Fighter_ Sayo, _Fighter_ Kurosawa or just _Fighter_ — sometimes, she wonders if they really know her name) for all the glory she deserves. Or at least, they _think_ she deserves.

Chief Julia has been plaguing her with missions nowadays. She's risen in the ranks, with skills said to be unparalleled by almost anyone else in CITY. She's unstoppable, they say.

But when your passion becomes a job, it suddenly doesn't seem that fun anymore, and any love you once held for it slowly disappears.

* * *

Koh's a little older now.

He doesn't really hang out with Pulsa and Kenpa anymore. He doesn't know anybody his age in Light Fang other than Mary Ann, who's just a couple of months older. They talk sometimes, but they don't always, and sometimes he feels like they're more of acquaintances than friends. Sometimes, when they see each other in the district, he smiles at her but she doesn't smile back and walks past him like he's simply air.

Well, there are probably other children his age in SunShine, but his obsession with the one called Hero of CITY contradicts with the majority of Light Fang's opinion — _"It could've been us that had saved the CITY too. Night Claw always tries to glorify themselves."_

He doesn't really mind though, and goes on his way every single day, his mind ever full with notions about the girl on the other side of CITY.

* * *

It's been a long day and she heads towards the SunShine terminal to return to DarkMoon when she hears someone running up to her — the footsteps are light and quick, so quick that when she turns around there's a little boy right behind her already.

"A-Are you really Sayo-nee?" His cheeks are flushed, eyes wide open in awe and amazement with stars in his eyes. "I—I've heard _so_ much about you!" Giving her a toothy grin, he thrusts an arm out at the Sunmon next to him. "Will you teach me? I—I'm from Light Fang, and I know that they don't really like you, but…I'm not lying when I say that I want be like you when I grow up."

Sayo blinks in surprise at the request, unmoving. This little boy, his eyes filled with so much hope — _his future seems so bright; it'd be a waste to ruin it by introducing him to the world of battles, wouldn't it?_

But she isn't working right at that moment, and she's saying yes before she even realises what's happening.

"Okay. What's your name?"

"I'm Koh! Himura Koh!" his eyes burned so bright. "Are you really going to teach me, Sayo-nee? You don't mind that we're always talking bad about you?"

"Don't ask so many questions. Now, show me what you've got."

* * *

**i suppose i owe an explanation: **yes i do. this is greatly inspired by the afterfalls by momiiji (it's a haikyuu! fanfic) — you can find it under my favourites if you happen to be in the haikyuu! fandom or you don't mind reading fandom blind. so this basically combines three universes—

i. au where koh is older than sayo  
ii. both canon universes  
iii. au where sayo is older than koh

—or basically, sunburst, sunburst + moonlight, and then moonlight.

**sunburst:** it follows the sunburst storyline, except that sayo appears. i'm assuming that kenpa, komachi and all of the player's friends in the game were originally the same age as him, so in this au, koh is the only one who grows younger — i think it's quite obvious, yeah?  
**sunburst + moonlight: **okay, fine. it actually isn't really canon universe, but it combines the canon events of sunburst and moonlight into one. hence, instead of just koh/sayo saving the world, it's _both_ of them. and to be clear, the last two paragraphs were flashbacks of the tournament at the start of the game(s).  
**moonlight:** follows the moonlight storyline, except that koh appears. just like the first chapter, i'm assuming that newton, dorothy and the others were originally the same age as sayo, hence sayo is older than them, but they don't make an appearance because she's not supposed to know them. yeah. and here, the light fang gang are older than koh.

**error: **i know the tournaments aren't called Grand Tournaments, but i just like the sound of it. so let's just pretend, okay? (smiles innocently)


End file.
